lessonsfromfictionalcharacters:

Submitted by theproperlexicon

I shouldn’t resent someone for what they do & have done. I shouldn’t want to hurt them emotionally either or what to one up them on something. I should love them because they are a close friend & hope them the best. Why do I? I should be humble. I shouldn’t talk my resent to others. They are trying to find happiness, themselves & their life in what they do, their doing it how they know right or wrong its there way. I should do things because I want to not to get back at them.I need to be more openminded.

Made my stinking day:) he is doing so well. Hallelujah.

So many things have changed. I drive, college & work. I’m finding the Buddha in myself slowly. But I feel hopeless. Where does that come from? The world feels distanced. I realized people don’t just drink to let loose, relax or have fun their trying to fix, mend, forget, realize or see something. Its a cope method. People have habits to help something. Alcoholism is a accidental habit like picking your nails. People see themselves in others & they don’t like it unless they are at peace with who they have become. Eyes really are they doors to the soul. But words screw up what they eyes say. Rebel Buddha ” Drama is the illusion that acts like the truth, Charms is the truth itself - the way things are, the basic state of reality that does not change from day to day according to fashion or our mood or agenda.” Look at the drama in your life with the eyes of Dharma.

Its my first day of college. Kind of feels like kindergarten. I wonder how it will go. So far no heinous. I got gas on the sleeve. Of my only good hoodie, I have no gum & I’m tired as bee. Bahhhhh. I drove here myself:) I cant stop yawning.

I’m wearing makeup to see what its all like. It feels so unnatural. I worked all week with the most fantastic 7 -9 year olds. I got my license:) Finally. I’m starting to realize how much I changed since a year ago. Its weird. I didn’t think I would be here. I need to keep going. Carlos & I are done. New religion/veiws/beliefs. Job. License/car. 4 tattos. Possible nannying. I know how I want mu life to go kind of. I feel smarter:)

I want this. Its beautiful. Win: I’ve lost most of the nastyness from my theighs. Fail: I’m not sore anymore when I work out. Goal: No shopping until I get a good grade in my college class.

I have found the religion that makes me happy. Buddhism:) The teachings are so much truthful than Christianity. Its acceptence, love, peace, meditation & community. I need to read more books on it. So far a lot of portions of 3 books. I would like to find a nice Buddhist guy:) do those exist? “BFF” has a new toy. Its upsetting. She is going to brag & boost about how amazing he is. Hearing it will break my heart. I work & nanny/babysit. I don’t meet many guys:( she meets a lot & dates the ones she wants. I’m jealous & envious. I wish I could get whoever I would like. I need to find the optimistic side & meditate on it. Her life seems perfect but no ones life is perfect. Maybe as I get better with meditating I will find better ways to handle my insecurities. Things will look up eventually. They have to:)

I wonder who I will marry. Have I meet them? Is it fate or destiny who we marry or is it something that our hearts choose? When two hearts feel happy together is that when falling in love happens or is it when just heart feels that the other heart perfect & lovely? Every night I dream about finding a guy who everything I wish for. Maybe this is why I want a puppy so bad. To bad puppys don’t bring boyfriends. Only if it was a package deal. I plan little bits of my wedding everyday. Does anyone else do this or am I supercreepy chick with a little life?

I would like a puppy:( poodles aren’t real dogs exactly. So I kind of failed at doing this everyday but I will try. Well its the new year. I rang it in by some tasty drinks & lots of vomiting in a toilet. That was new. Never again. My phone is lost. I let my dad use it & he put it somewhere. I keep smelling vomit. I hate being so alone. I feel so pathetic seeing everybodys cute pictures on facebookn I want that so had. Well goodnight.